Local parents are up at arms about the new Peoria Police crackdown that has targeted sober parents who drive with drunk babies.

‘Sure we give [baby Jeff] whiskey in his [dalgarn] milk on Tuesdays!’ shouted an indignant father, cited for driving with an intoxicated baby. ‘It’s our right.’

Spokesperson for the Peoria Police has explained that officers began targeting babies when they failed to reach ticket quotas on offending drivers.

‘People are making it look as though they are suddenly following the rules out there, but things as usual are not as they appear,’ Officer Sheldon Tamboy told The Gorko, after ticketing the reporter for driving with no baby on board. ‘You think you live in a safe society, but you had better thank your lucky stars for the police.’

Thank you to Peoria’s finest.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash