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by thegorkogazette

Who Wrote The Declaration of Independence?

INDEPENDENCE DAY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Independence Day is just around the corner for two of our favorite West African republics. Both the Togolese Republic and the Republic of Sierra Leone celebrate their independence on April 27th, Togo from France, and Sierra Leone from the United Kingdom. Their annual joint gala is planned to be celebrated on board the Oasis of the Ocean, the 280-thousand ton state-of-the-art Royal Cabirrean International cruise liner, with the presidents/representatives of the respective countries in attendance, live music, speeches, and yummy snacks.

But who wrote their declarations of independence?

WAS IT JOHN HANCOCK

Probably the respective declarations of independence of the Togolese Republic and Republic of Sierra Leone were NOT written by an eighteenth century white man from the American colonies, John Hancock. We can not help but notice, however, that both declarations feature ‘John Hancock’ style signatures, Togo’s by Robinson Ayhi, and Sierra Leone’s by Mufti ‘Loopy Cursive’ Jallone. Could these fellas have been the authors of their countries’ most important documents?

DID CHARLIE SHEEN WRITE THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE?

Yes, one of the most credible theories bandied about on the interspace is that Charlie Sheen did indeed intervene with the democratic development of both Togo and Sierra Leone, in 1960 and ’61 respectively, when he was but a twinkle in Martin’s eye: crossed the Atlantic Ocean, and provided both Togo and Sierra Leone with rough drafts of their declarations of independence.

Martin Sheen WAS in the Canary Islands in early 1960. Could he have possibly slipped down the coast in a light aircraft or discreet Togolese navy gunboat, and put his head together with Olympio and Sir Milton Margai?

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