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Man Committed to Attending Women’s Equality March Too Tired, It Turns Out

Citing an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion, local man Dan Boswell will not be attending today’s Women’s Equality March after all.

‘Yeah, at first I was really, really into it,’ he said. ‘I saw there was a Women’s Equality March just 1.34 miles from my house. I thought, ‘What better way to show my support of the female gender and all its adversity than to show up and march with a homemade sign? I mean, I have a stepsister.’

Boswell says he then posted an announcement on his social media platforms of his intent to march, and the response was overwhelming. ‘I spent a lot of time reading through the ways in which people thought of me as a hero.’ Boswell estimates he spent the next 25-26 hours glued to his accounts and responding to the comments about what a great man he was.

Things revved up when Boswell suggested other men join him and show their solidarity as a group, even going so far as to call the clump ‘REAL MEN ARE FEMINISTS’, or ‘RMAF’. ‘Thinking up that group name was exhausting,’ Boswell admitted. ‘Before I knew it, it was two days before the march, and I had not created the signs I’d promised to for RMAF.’

Things took a turn when Boswell states he faced an ‘unexpected obstacle’ when realizing he had not determined if the group’s identification would be R-MAF or spelled out R-M-A-F when used in conversation.

‘It wasn’t so much that I had to make the decision before I went to the march,’ Boswell explained. ‘But I also felt like it was irresponsible if I hadn’t figured it out before I got there. I fell asleep on the couch as I was contemplating this question. When I woke up, I had forgotten about the name pronunciation issue.’

Discovering the next day that the march was rapidly approaching, Boswell stalled responding to many of the questions from the RMAF fellows, like where to meet, or what time, or what to wear, or whether or not the signs he had promised to make were complete. To soothe over the exhausting inquiries, Boswell posted a simple but meaningful message: Things are moving along, gentlemen.

This became a common refrain among Boswell’s social media posts in the hours leading up to the event. He found that stating that the group should plan to convene ‘at the start of the march’ and ‘at the start time of the march’ warranted a fresh wave of support amongst social media users.

‘This Boswell dude is really stepping up.’

‘Ladies, DAN is a real man.’

‘They are showing up…because of Dan Boswell, these fine men are finally showing up. This brings me tears of joy.’

Boswell stated he was electrified by these posts, while receiving them also marked the beginning of a deep exhaustion from the whole endeavor.

‘What did me in was the post from a woman organizer that said ‘He will not let us down. When the men show up, that’s when we know we have arrived. God bless Dan Boswell.’ I just got into bed at that point.’

Boswell did not see the fruits of his labor today. He reported from under the covers, before closing his eyes and turning away, ‘I just had no idea caring this much would be so tiring.’

At press time, Boswell was considering starting a petition at his workplace for a sanitary lactation room for his female colleagues, but that, on the other hand, he was also kind of pooped.

ABOUT THE ARTIST

Liz Lydic is a mom, writer, and local government employee in the Los Angeles area. She also does theatre stuff. Liz has been published in JMWW, McSweeney’s, BULL, Defenestration, Santa Fe Literary Review and many others. She holds an honorable mention for her story ‘Girls in Fall’ in the Easy Reader 53rd Anniversary Writing & Photography Contest.

lizlydic.com

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