The Gorko Gazette

Daily Humor

thegorkogazette

2.6.2026 6:47 AM

THE DREAM ISLAND WITH YOUR NAME ON IT. YOUR NAME IS CHAZ, RIGHT?

THE ISLAND

It is called Callaughan Island and it is located off the shore of Grenada in the southeast Caribbean. The moment you step onto the white sand beach next to the dreamy turquoise green waters of Callaughan Bay you will realize you are on one of the world’s most exclusive dream islands.

That is Chaz with a Z, correct? The papers are all ready for you, sir.

DREAMLIKE LOGISTICS

Many people worry about provisioning their dream island. There is nothing dreamy about having to ferry drinking water and cans of prunes from the mainland, which is why we take care of all of that for you, Chaz. The three storey, 10-bedroom Beach Chalet is run by our personal majordomo Monseiur Pepe Bucksheafle and an army of maids (scantily clad), pool boys, and trained security. All of this will be yours the moment you sign on the dotted line.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

How far is Callaughan Island from the mainland? Are there dinosaurs?
It is a short ride by boat or seaplane. And………no.

Is Monseiur Pepe French? Does he speak any English?
Yes and yes. Monseiur Pepe is fluent in more than seventy-five modern dialects.

Is there infrastructure for watersports on Callaughan Island?
Tee hee hee, why yes.

Can you get totally jacked on the island?
There is a full gym, Olympic-sized swimming pool (no sharks, har har), jogging paths, tennis basketball squash and racquet ball courts. You will be so jacked by your second week on this dream island your friends will look at you and exclaim, ‘Chaz is a total hunk!’

Monseiur Pepe also hosts a daily pilates class.

What other entertainment is offered on Callaughan Island?
There is a gigantic portable movie screen with all the streaming services, fireworks, deluxe barbeque setup, beauty salons, fully stocked bar with handpicked baristas, and of course the option for the infamous no-holds-barred Callaughan Battle Royale (both paintball or live ammo verions available).

So you are telling me you can hunt men on Callaughan Island.
It is one of the services we provide. You can hunt your own friends and family, or for a small fee Callaughan Island Services Inc. will import fresh men for you to hunt. These are typically hobos and criminals without any ties to society, who will never be missed.

This all sounds simply fabulous. But what if my name isn’t Chaz?
Well then we might have a problem. Maybe this is not your dream island. Maybe you could get the hell out of my office before we have you escorted off the premises.