Month: May 2021

Headlines by thegorkogazetteMay 31, 20216:00 am

NEW PLANET DISCOVERED ORBITING BROTHER-IN-LAW

Everyone’s favorite person in the world and his own greatest fan, my sister’s husband Liam from Nashville, was so grandiloquent and pompous at the Memorial Day picnic that he appeared to attract his own planet.

Headlines by thegorkogazetteMay 30, 20216:00 am

IF ‘CRY ME A RHUBARD’ IS NOT THE RIGHT EXPRESSION, YOU CAN CALL ME A LAWYER

An unknown local software engineer (it was Phil) used the following words to bring a succinct end to what had been an ongoing carpool argument with coworker Dave Thompson. Dave would later call Robussen Robussen […]

Headlines by thegorkogazetteMay 29, 20219:00 am

WAIT DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD BEFORE THE EGG OR

Ready and willing to solve the age-old question about what crossed the road first, the chicken or the egg, local smoke shop co-founders Luis Fernandez and Toby Joe spent another evening in on the floor […]

Headlines by thegorkogazetteMay 28, 20216:00 am

YOU ARE GOING TO WISH YOU HAD ALWAYS READ JANE AUSTEN IN A FLEECY FLYBREEZE® HAMMOCK

Testimonial from Sue in Peoria: Yeah, when my hubby and I first tried reading Jane Austen in the Fleecy Flybreeze® it was so different. It was like having Darcy’s arms around you, soft and fleecy […]

Cartoons by thegorkogazetteMay 27, 20216:00 am

#11

One-panel cartoon

Headlines by thegorkogazetteMay 27, 20216:00 am

YOUTH HOSTEL DIRECTOR ALSO QUITE HOSTILE

What began with forced smiles and slightly insulting comments about this being your first time in Bucharest, continued with snide wisecracks in Romanian over beers on the hostel porch at your expense, and finally openly […]

Classic Gorko by thegorkogazetteMay 26, 20218:00 am

Classic Gorko #3

THE HAPPY ISSUE, sometime in 1996

Headlines by thegorkogazetteMay 26, 20216:00 am

BEEF STROGANOFF BAKE OFF ENDS IN HEATED EXCHANGE

Church council members had to intervene at this week’s thirteenth annual Mount of Olives Beef Stroganoff Bake Off as Linda and Tammy faced off over alleged subordination of bake off jurors. The blue ribbon this […]

Headlines by thegorkogazetteMay 25, 20216:00 am

MAN GETS SUNSCREEN IN MOUTH, MAYONNAISE IN EYE

‘It was a hard day for Toby at the beach,’ admitted his sister Charlie as the family trudged back to their rented cabin, Toby of course stomping on ahead. He had gotten sunscreen in his […]