The Gorko Gazette

Turns out that the best-selling existentialist philosopher-poet Andrew S. Kuznetsov III, is just called Andy by his friends, sources reported Monday.

‘It is kind of a disappointment, to be frank,’ said JaMarcus, Mr. Kuznetsov’s new next-door neighbor. ‘I mean, he is practically the father of modern existential ontology and a very serious man. I would expect him to stick to Andrew.’

Andy refused to comment for this article.

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