Hello friends. My name is Lemon Reilly (@LemonReilly), Life Doctor, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Homeopath with offices in both Reno and Mexico City.
NEVER SLEEP UNDER A MOVING CEILING FAN
It is very hot where I live (it’s the jungle) and every morning I wake up with the sheets and pillows completely drenched in perspiration. I would like to turn on the ceiling fan, but I am afraid that it will come free from the ceiling and impale me in my sleep. Is this a normal occurrence?
-Alanin Crooked Tree
You have made a difficult but wise decision to sleep with the fan OFF, Alanin. Just say no to electric fans. Ceiling fans can fall on you and rotating floor fans can cause mutilation to toddlers or at parties where alcohol is served. Korean people in particular are susceptible to Fan Death (suffocation by fan in a dark, enclosed space). Technology can’t solve our problems! Learn to wallow with love in your own salty body flavor. The Omniscient Mother has given us sweat glands so that we can live naturally, coddled in her musky bosom.
WHO IS SHEBA?
I recently moved in with my boyfriend of five months. We are in love but when it comes down to it we know practically nothing about each other. It turns out that my boyfriend talks constantly in his sleep and for the past four nights he has been having erotic dreams with a woman named Sheba. “Oh, Sheba this, oh Sheba that,” all night long! He claims not to remember his dreams about Sheba or to have ever known any woman by that name, but I am beginning to think that Sheba is coming between us. Is this normal?
-Toots in Missouri
It sounds as though your boyfriend is recalling Deep Contact Memories (DCM’s) from one of his previous incarnations as the king of Persia or some lesser monarch who lived in the Babylonian river valley in the twelfth century B.C.E., Toots. I would not underestimate the powerful effects of Lemondrop Dream Tonic #7 (a soothing mixture of dried rhubarb and medicinal herbs from my personal cache), of course, but if the episodes increase in violence (and those were very violent sex cultures) your boyfriend may require hypnosis.
Freud says that dreaming of a house of cards means that you are probably reliving experiences that can be traced back the garage or toolshed of a paternal uncle. For several years I have dreamed of nothing but houses of cards, and yet I have no paternal uncles. Is this normal?
-Jim in Salt Lake
Do you have any maternal uncles? Freud also said that it is easy to lead a horse to water, but difficult to make that horse drink. Think carefully about that, Jim. What Freud meant was that not all of your uncles can be identified through actual conscious memory experience. Sometimes our uncles are our lovers, plain and simple.
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Photo by Gregor Moser on Unsplash