FROM THE AMERICAN CHEESE SPECIAL: ‘Good cheese is like a fine wine’ by JENX

WORDS AND ART BY JENX

Good cheese is like a fine wine (or coffee if you’re like me and don’t drink.) I would not suggest putting it in your glass. You do you, though.

We all have guilty pleasures, methinks. Take cheesy music, for example. Some of us even make secret play lists for our extra-cheesy goodies, others store away our collection in the back of their collective fridges.

Imitation cheese
Some impersonators are better than others. Maybe you were married at a drive-through chapel by a guy pretending to be Elvis? Maybe you’re a big fan of Robbie Hurlbutt. I’ll pass.

Just a sprinkle?
Some of us like just a little bit here and there of their favourite guilty pleasure. I pour the grated stuff all over my popcorn. Yum. No shame, all gain.

Do you travel for your cheese?
Carla Moran does. This shapeshifting humanoid vulture flies all the way from Albion, Indiana up to Wisconsin just to try their amazing cheese, because she gets tired of eating the same carrion over and over, and the rabbits keep eating the tulip salad bar outside her home.

Cheesy collabs
When two more more guilty pleasures post their input to music download sites, it can be good, cheesy fun. I personally LOVE gravy and fries with my cheese curds. Sure, it’s TERRIBLE for you, but it is in really good taste.

Limburger
I have no idea why anyone would eat this overpriced cheese that smells like feet. I would not know what it tastes like, however some people are really into it, so I’ll take their word.

ABOUT THE ARTIST: JEN OF MORONICARTS

Jen is a gothic weirdo who makes up stories about fake people doing stupid things, and posts them to their blog called MoronicArts. Sometimes Jen draws strange pictures. Size matters; over 300 of these short and even shorter stories might be found at MoronicArts.com. Maybe. Look at buy or commission Jen’s art at https://ko-fi.com/artbyjenx.