EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT AN APHORISM IS WE NEVER BEEN TO LAWYER SCHOOL
Hold yer horses thay mister! What IS an aphorism, anyways?
An aphorism is a culturally accepted, age-old saying that communicates moral advice, folk wisdom, or downright genius hacks for the situations in which we humans nearly always often at times do find ourselves. Today at The Gorko we share with you the runners-up to the TOP TEN of our favorite aphorisms, chosen by Gorko readers from all over the universe.
20. You can’t take the banana with you
The banana represents all wordly possessions. When you die, the banana stays on the counter. If you stuck the banana in the fridge like a galdarn fool, it is going to turn black by the time your relatives get back from the funeral.
19. Ghostbusters theme music must come to an end
This aphorism speaks for itself. Who you gonna call?
18. Like the pot calling the kettle Karen
This aphorism is used by country folk in front of city folk as a kind of code to out over-the-top tourists that like to throw their weight around and run their fat mouths. If you are such a tourist and you hear this expression, run for your life.
17. Actions croak louder than toads when you kiss their little green lips
When you kiss that toad and in a flash of fairy dust he becomes a prince and yet also a man-sized toad, remember this saying.
16. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a load of horseshit blockbuster about a retarded man who runs across the United States spouting aphorisms
You know the movie we mean.
15. Absence makes Uncle Toby grow fonder
‘WE MIST U’ read the card in the flowers on Barbara’s desk when she got back to the office from her nice vacation with fiancée Dudley.
14. Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot is worth a thousand words
You know the movie we are talking about.
13. Better late than Larry
Don’t be Larry.
12. Birds of a feather except you ain’t supposed to call them birds they are ladies
Many innocent people have made the same mistake. Don’t let it happen to you, mister.
11. Never Andrew Jackson what you can Herbert Hoover
The Gorko’s eleventh-ranked aphorism of the Gorko Aphorism Event 2026 means simply do not take a knife to a gun fight, or a broom to a competitive hoovering competition.
Tune in next time for the much anticipated TOP TEN Gorko Aphorisms of all time countdown.
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Images:
Marilyn Monroe in How to Marry a Millionaire.jpg
Herm with the head of Hippocrates-Uffizi.jpg
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