Month: September 2022
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HEY FOLKS, IT’S FRITTERS FRIDAY
Has your partner left you and taken Mitzy the Chihuahua you both raised, running off to southern California with a police cadet named Mickey? Are you broke and homeless?
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NOT DOING THEIR JOB: MORE THAN 30 PEORIA HOUSECATS DISMISSED AFTER FAILING TO COMPLETE BASIC HOUSEKEEPING TASKS
‘As much as I hate to see little Muffin go, she just was not holding up her side of the agreement.’
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4 poems by Kushal Poddar
Reading A War Novel I sigh, and mark the wordwhere I end the day’s reading.The book spins a tale of war.The word I cannot cross todayis ‘House’.‘A good place,’I murmur, ‘to moor, balance,and stretch.’‘A good place,’ I think, ‘until theyturn…
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CHESS WORLD ROCKED AS DETAILS EMERGE OF GRAND MASTER’S CHECKERED PAST
Note from Raddy: I apologize to everyone in advance for this headline. We simply could not help ourselves. Queen’s Gambit, rook to G3. Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash YOU MAY ALSO LIKE…
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GORKO UNFUN BUT TRUE LESSON OF THE DAY
Some lessons are harder than others, but today’s lesson is just plain unfun. Take a second to think over today’s line of wisdom. Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash you may also like…
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‘THE NEW NORMAL’ by Prosper Ifeanyi
Do you ever think why the body, made of sand, cannot hold water?
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3 NIGHTMARE PAGODA-SHAPED RESTAURANTS AND HOW TO FIND THE SECRET REAR STAIRS
The fake sushi chefs WILL give chase, but simply dodge down the first flight of stairs and close the door riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight behind you.
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HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOUR BREACH IS READY FOR THE CAVALRY
Is the breach in the enemy’s lines low enough for a mounted officer to leap over, or will he trip, tumble into the breach, and be vilely stuck with sharp lances?
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WHY ARE YOU A BUS DRIVER?
Why didn’t you become a lawyer or a doctor instead? Something must have made you decide to start driving buses.
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GORKO UNFUN BUT TRUE LESSON OF THE DAY
Some lessons are harder than others, but today’s lesson is just plain unfun. Take a second to think over today’s line of wisdom. you may also like…
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO REVEALS THE 3 INGREDIENTS HE *NEVER* ROLLS BETWEEN HIS THIGHS
As many fans of Gorko chef Rambo Bolillo’s world-famous cooking show know so well, he likes to roll a lot of ingredients between his massive thighs to tenderize and add flavor. But did you know the 3 ingredients Rambo NEVER…
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WAIT YOU AREN’T FINN WOLFHARD
Hey wait one second, now that we are out here in the light of day you are clearly NOT Finn Wolfhard. You don’t even resemble him! Why did you lie about that? And no you can not star in my…
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REPORT: FEAR STALKS AMERICANS AS SALES END IN SEPTEMBER
‘I haven’t even found any good polos yet. My polo game is in a bad situation. This is not good, not good.’
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DON MARKENBALDI, LITERARY CRITIC AND ASSASSIN, MURDERS THIRD WIFE IN PEORIA
Don Markenbaldi has murdered again, and this time in his own backyard!
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3 HAIRCUTS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO TRY BEFORE LOCAL BARBER TONY LARONI KICKS THE BUCKET
Whether you have been a regular patron of Tony Laroni at his classic barber shop Laroni Cuts on Thompson and Third in downtown Peoria or have never even heard of the local shop, which has acquired cult status over the…
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‘The Unfunny Bridge’ and 2 more by Gene Goldfarb
The UNFUNNY BRIDGE Orange is a color you can’t take seriously.It’s like a clown named Bozo.I once had a hearing and the witnesswas a medical doctor from SaharanAfrica whose last name was BozoI think his native language was Beraku,which was…
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FIRE ON BOARD CROWDED CALIFORNIA LEAVES DOZENS INJURED
AVISO ACHTUNG AGUAS: This is a joke. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Photo by Marcus Kauffman on Unsplash YOU MAY ALSO LIKE…
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PAY THE RENT OR BUY A TACKY, MID-RANGE COFFIN?
You can buy another month of shelter at your current residence in West Peoria surrounded by yappy dogs, drug dealers, and pimps, OR you can probably afford a low-to-mid-end, tacky coffin with extremely cheap veneer, to lie in.
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3 THINGS ALREADY IN YOUR HOUSE THAT WOULD HAPPILY SCURRY UP YOUR NOSE
Do you know that according to a new study by Gorko Stats Unlimited it is almost certain that there are at least 10 things already in your house that at a moment’s notice, under the right circumstances, would happily scurry…
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Upcoming Movie: ‘Honk For Jesús, He Is In The Road’
Follow brilliant but fallen-from-grace automotive engineer Jesús de Maria Hernández Ramírez as he searches for meaning off the fast track of competitive automotive engineering.
