Month: February 2024
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‘please publish this poem so i can eat’ and 1 more by Alannah Guevara
written, revised, submitted, rejected, set aside, rerevised, resubmitted, rerejected, scrapped, found, rererevised, reresubmitted, rererejected, rescrapped, refound, rerererevised, reset aside, rererererevised, rerereresubmitted, rerererejected, rererereresubmitted, accepted, edited, rerererererevised
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‘Burning Birds & Fiery Jets: Mayday Mayday Mayday is French for Help Me’ by Bob King
Unlike the old people & the ducks, us left here in Ohio in January think we’re too smart to follow migration’s roadmap
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Was Professor Stout in fact the ‘On the Dog’ poet?
This is essentially the kind of poem that would mention flowers.
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INVASION OF THE ELEPHANT DOG CREATURES FROM SRIXON 5: A MITCHELL KENNEDY ORIGINAL
Read all about the seventh and eighth hypothetical installments of the planned intergalactic bow-wow series below.
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MISTER CHATBOT’S NEIGHBORHOOD: VENGEANCE SERVED COLD
A LOT OF MEAT VASSALS END UP SERVING THEIR VENGEANCE PIPING HOT. NOT MISTER CHATBOT.
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‘BIRD POO ON THE LAWN CHAIR’ by Antoine Bargel
she was Ms. Patterson from 10th grade, a busty, jovial and too young to be true math teacher
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DO YOU HAVE ONLY FIVE TO EIGHT WEEKS? TAKE OUR FREE QUIZ TO FIND OUT
So the doctors have informed you that, sadly, wait what was it they said?
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‘Thank You for Your Interest in the Role of Insurrectionist Cult Leader’ by Corey Pajka
To rebuild society in the aftermath of the Literal Culture Wars (who would have thought they would go nuclear?), we must unite people of differing races, ethnicities, gender identities, and sexual orientations.
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‘Dostoevsky Has a Seizure Pitching Headlines to the Russian Messenger’ by Jon Doughboy
Disgusting, Thieving Germans Disgust with Their Incessant Thievery: An Exposé
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SHOOTING POOL WITH STRING WITH MISTER BANANA
Good Boy used to shoot pool with string before he had his own stick.
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EXPERTS WARN THAT AI FLOWERS COULD REPLACE ‘TRADITIONAL SNIFFERS’ WITHIN 5 DAYS
Or do people really love plastic flowers?
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OFFICIAL RETRACTION: ‘Gazelle of unfended Láatsi’ by John Kucera
The only authorized English translation, by our own Tark Mackintosh, was also published in The Gorko in February 2022. We so stupid!
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‘Summer, 1975, Speedway, Indiana’ and 3 more by Grant Vecera
From across Moller Road, neighbors gawked and joked about the idiot lovebirds
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The Lemondrop Dream Blog: GUMBY HAS NOTHING ON THIS DUDE
BTW this does not get you off the hook for the $2,540 you still owe Lemondrop Inc. for life doctor services in 2022-24, apart from your herbal remedy tab.
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MISTER CHATBOT’S NEIGHBORHOOD: WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR MAKES NO DIFFERENCE WHO YOU ARE
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AND THEN DOLLY HAD TO OPEN HER BIG MOUTH ABOUT YOU KNOW WHAT
It had been an absolutely lovely party to which everyone had shown up fashionably late and been placed happily at their seats.
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CAT, WHAT CAT? OH YOU MEAN *THIS* CAT, BROTHER ETHERNAN?
Does the cat have a name, so we can attempt to call her, Brother Ethy?
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WHICH FOODS MUST NEVER TOUCH?
The bread and mashed potatoes question, for example, is one that has been the center of much debate since the 1950s.
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MISTER BANANA AND THE BANANA BOAT
I talked to the man who rents the banana boats but he just thought I wanted a job.
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MITCH’S MOVIE MASH: ‘WINNIE-THE-POOH: BLOOD AND HONEY 2’ – HONEY IS THICKER THAN BLOOD
Once we clicked PLAY on our Betamax antique home entertainment movie recorder, the hunt for honey was on!
