Month: December 2024
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too many words by Theodore Wallbanger
‘I get confused when you use too many words,’ listed from an unblasted food quadrant of Bet’s mouth
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Dear Virgie by Nolcha Fox
We are the proud parents of the most beautiful bride-to-be in the world. She’s disappeared.
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Mitch’s Movie Mash: 10 Holiday Movies That Almost Killed My Dog
These are in fact exactly the movies to AVOID if you have the hemorrhoids.
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GORKO IS GAME FOR THE NEW YEAR
Let The Gorko help you make the final festivities of your year the most memorable.
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wondering by Theodore Wallbanger
While dandruff riddled skin suits struggle up her manicured driveway
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Then, snap. Strangle. Gush. Blackness. Silent night. by Karen Walker
I dive and, momentarily, we are side by side as we should’ve been on New Year’s Eve everlasting.
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BEST OF THE GORKO 2024
The real gift of 2024 was the creative work submitted to this space by more than 75 contributors: humor, short fiction, CNF, poems, and more.
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Cafe Launches Brussels Sprout Coffee and more holiday news by Benjamin Macnair
Chutney on the Fritz’s Hipster hang out, the etch a sketch Cafe, Sketchers has launched new Brussels sprout and parsnip flavoured coffee for the festive season.
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3 poems by Gene Goldfarb
Four men are at a table playing cards, an argument breaks out between two of them
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The Lemondrop Dream Blog: Horndog Circus
Dear Lemon, You may not remember me, but you hypnotized me in 1997, or thought you did.
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Pub Band has played Wham’s Last Christmas seven times now and more news from the front by Benjamin Macnair
Even the jazz-tinged saxophonist Tim Dewberry-Sprocket is getting sick of it.
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EVEN MORE GORKO GAMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS
The blindfolded player then has five seconds to lick the Fresh Magic Pad™ and determine the correct flavor (sweet, sour, or ‘finger’).
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School Administrators Missed Warning Signs of Lego DREAMZzz Set Snuck Onto Campus in Student’s Backpack by Liz Lydic
‘There was nothing out of the ordinary at drop-off,’ says parent Sarah, who requested we omit her last name for security reasons.
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My First Book Review: a book review by Hugh Blanton
As you can probably guess from the title, My First Book is Honor Levy’s debut collection of short stories.
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Naughty Not Nice: The Convicted Felon’s Holiday Gift Guide by Torrey Kurtzner
Not sure what to get your loved ones this holiday season? Fear not; our resident convicted felon has got you covered!
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MORE GORKO GAMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Three new games that are guaranteed to get people talking about what is going on at your place in Peoria.
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3 new poems by Peter Mladinic
The limo took us to a mound we stood above as hands lowered the casket of Ted Hughes into ground far from Fairbanks
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After An Argument and 2 more by Kushal Poddar
A pool of skin and calcium starved bones sunken underneath swim upstream
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You ain’t seen nothing yet b-b-b-baby, you just ain’t seen n-n-n-nothing yet, B-B-B-Brother Ethernan
How do I know? I met a devil woman, who took my heart away.
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Chicago and 2 more by Janet McCann
Chicago I can not forget the my-age bully who roughed me up twice
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GORKO IS GAME FOR THE HOLIDAYS!!!
Do you want to make this year’s holiday soiree the talk of the town? Try The Gorko’s all new parlor games for the holidays!
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GIVE THE GIFT OF CHESS PROGRAM CANCELED AFTER LATEST GANGSTYLE BEHEADING
This is not the first time that chess has driven youth movements to acts of irrational, hot-tempered violence.
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diver down by Theodore Wallbanger
Four years of tedious investigations uncovered a feud between two spicy dwarves that worked at the Perris jump location
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The Theme of the Week is When A Boy Named Kevin Almost Drinks From Your Martini
You straight up missed the chance of a lifetime, hon.
