AC: As someone who parrots back quotes regularly, it was fun to think about how I could do that in a new, artistic context.
Month: April 2023
‘Quesarito In Excelsis Deo’ by Tim Moder
and we melt together
at this yearly party
this ancient yearling party
year after year, from now
until the last syllable of
HOW LONG CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH UNDERWATER WHILE WRESTLING A CROCODILE? MY RECORD IS TWO MINUTES
Trust me, everyone on the Enchanted Lagoon Tour went wild, and I got a free Gatorade from our tour guide Jorge.
LADIES: GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO NOT ONLY MAKES THE PERFECT SMOOTHIE, HE IS THE PERFECT SMOOTHIE
‘Then he tripped over the coffee table and broke half of the minis in my glass horse menagerie.’
Upcoming Movie: The Vermont Painter
Part biopic portraying the sensitive and peaceloving TV landscape painter Rob Boss, and part shoot-em-up splattergore bank heist.
IF THERE ARE NO PIMIENTAS IN MY OLIVES I AM GOING TO LOSE MY F*#!ING SHIT
Stuff. My. Olives. With. Pimientas.
Stomping puddles: New Year’s Day interview with Captain B (video)
Exclusive chat with author and poet Captain B.
ANOTHER Bad Poem by Professor Stout
An audaciously bad poem.
PUT UP OR SHUT UP: TIME FOR YOU TO MAKE GOOD ON YOUR PROMISE TO TAKE US ALL TO SALAMI QUEEN AND BUY US HOT DOGS
We have heard all of your excuses and no sorry but we will not be put off.
LIFE GAVE ME A BATHTUB FULL OF ICE AND A MISSING KIDNEY SO I MADE A NON-ALCOHOLIC MARGARITA
My friends all wanted to know how I was dealing with being robbed of a kidney, but I told them to calm down.
4/20 poems by Captain B
Virginia or Ginny or Ginger
Roberta or Bobs
Lynn and Hank
could all still walk
NOW OUT: RADDY’S CHAPBOOK ‘FEAR OF SLEEP’ WITH ALIEN BUDDHA
sometimes my mind is small
I experience shrinkage