Author: thegorkogazette
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SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER (S.A.D.) by Ron Arbuckle
The wild turkeys were out in the highway this morning
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Satisfaction Delivered by Iryna Somkina
The cashier wasn’t a tattooed girl with father issues. She was fifty-something. A plump, tired auntie.
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CLASSIC GORKO: MORE FROM THE AMMNER WHITCKET NEWSPAGE
Gorko lore, from our archives to your breakfast table.
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MITCHELL KENNEDY’S TOP 5 MOVIES CALLED OPOSSUM
He rolls up into a ball and plays dead and they go away.
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MARS ROVER SPIES SHIMMERING NYMPHS, THUNDER DEITY BETWEEN CLOUDS OF COTTON CANDY AND LOLLIPOP ELVES
The presence of the nymphs apparently had been concealed by the clouds of pink-orange cotton candy clouds common everywhere on the surface of the pink-orange planet.
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God’s Got a Good Backstroke by Nicholas Viglietti
I was barren, stopped carin’ and my tomorrows weren’t promised.
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Last Frontier by Michael Igoe
At that moment none of the crowd was in the lobby. I cracked open the quart top and fiddled around with the radio.
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How this new abstract painting by Malatifa Orion challenges everything we thought we knew about cheeseburgers
Malatifa Orion sent her own mother a screen capture of their latest art and it was not even recognized as art.
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Squeeze by Simon Collinson
I seemed to be the only one in town who didn’t have a squeezy ball to squeeze.
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LOCAL RESTAURANT TO FEATURE ‘BAKE YOUR OWN LASAGNA™’
‘Ordinary people have no idea how labor-intensive and infuriating it is to cook for other people,’ Marco told The Gorko.
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ode to the dead rat i found in my dairy queen blizzard by John Sara
for a brief moment, you saw the world
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in the world and 2 more by Mykyta Ryzhykh
They said it was the statue of liberty They said that my love has no boundaries
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The Tyger by James Callan
When they sliced the big cat’s belly wide and through the seam slipped steaming a puppydog
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Swanson Ford – Employee Self-Appraisal by Bob Gielow
To help you avoid all that stressful planning while you are grieving for me, I’ve written out the following list of assignments.
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Household Items and 1 more by Ben Macnair
His consciousness, a neat little widget of self-awareness, seemed to have taken up residence somewhere near his sternum.
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Liar by Doug Hawley and Bill Tope
I greeted a new face at the bus stop today, a big, florid, puffy fellow who rather resembled a pink marshmallow.
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PAPARAZZI IN THE DUMPSTER AGAIN: PASS ME ANOTHER FIRECRACKER
I have recently switched from Witchkiller rapid-fire chains to the Chin Channy Chin Rattler X-3075
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Alt Tyrant by Hugh Blanton
The longest section of the book is the acknowledgments section going on for four pages with a lot of [I’ve removed this person] strewn about it.
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SUZIE CREAMCHEESE and 3 more by Maceo Nightingale
Billy Karnash in the 5th grade, known as the human pencil
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UNCLE TOBY JUST GOT A TEXT MESSAGE FROM BARBARA AT HIS OFFICE
‘God look at him,’ local child Nadira told Gorko reporters from the back of her father’s bicycle. ‘He is acting like he already scored.’
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A Gorko Gazette Borsch by Iryna Somkina
Half a cabbage, shredded with mild but palpable passive aggression. Click for complete recipe!
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THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE by u.v. ray
John Gambler sits on the towpath at Gas Street Basin trying to salvage what was left of the abysmal day.
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Le Penseur by Doug Hawley and Bill Tope
His torso and limbs were arranged in the same posture as Rodin’s ‘The Thinker,’ only in flesh tones.
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leopard print and 1 more by Nathaniel Sverlow
my son had accidentally gone into the ladies room to do his business
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THIS IS A CAT WHO CAN MOVE OBJECTS SUCH AS BASKETBALLS WITH ITS SPECIAL COLLAR
Could Zunar-J-5/9 Doric-4-7 (or just Jake) in fact be an extraterrestrial with telekinetic powers?
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Kill Two Birds by Simon Collinson
The modern age demanded greater efficiency, more birds killed for your buck.
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO COOKS: SOUPS THAT TASTE LIKE SANDWICHES
Do you love sandwiches but hate taking the time between bites to actually chew them?
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‘Paean of the High Plains Drifter’ by Guy Duvet
SHOULD WE NEVER SPEAK WHAT WE SAY / IN THREAT OF BRITTLE LOVE
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Last Seen On Wells Street by Michael Igoe
Reese was in again, and he was pleading with me to bail him out.
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WHOA IT IS EVEN BIGGER ON THE OTHER SCREEN, SAYS UNCLE TOBY, THIS IS AMAZING
‘Thank you for telling me about the internet.’
