Author: thegorkogazette
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Household Items and 1 more by Ben Macnair
His consciousness, a neat little widget of self-awareness, seemed to have taken up residence somewhere near his sternum.
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Liar by Doug Hawley and Bill Tope
I greeted a new face at the bus stop today, a big, florid, puffy fellow who rather resembled a pink marshmallow.
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PAPARAZZI IN THE DUMPSTER AGAIN: PASS ME ANOTHER FIRECRACKER
I have recently switched from Witchkiller rapid-fire chains to the Chin Channy Chin Rattler X-3075
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Alt Tyrant by Hugh Blanton
The longest section of the book is the acknowledgments section going on for four pages with a lot of [I’ve removed this person] strewn about it.
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SUZIE CREAMCHEESE and 3 more by Maceo Nightingale
Billy Karnash in the 5th grade, known as the human pencil
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UNCLE TOBY JUST GOT A TEXT MESSAGE FROM BARBARA AT HIS OFFICE
‘God look at him,’ local child Nadira told Gorko reporters from the back of her father’s bicycle. ‘He is acting like he already scored.’
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A Gorko Gazette Borsch by Iryna Somkina
Half a cabbage, shredded with mild but palpable passive aggression. Click for complete recipe!
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THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE by u.v. ray
John Gambler sits on the towpath at Gas Street Basin trying to salvage what was left of the abysmal day.
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Le Penseur by Doug Hawley and Bill Tope
His torso and limbs were arranged in the same posture as Rodin’s ‘The Thinker,’ only in flesh tones.
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leopard print and 1 more by Nathaniel Sverlow
my son had accidentally gone into the ladies room to do his business
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THIS IS A CAT WHO CAN MOVE OBJECTS SUCH AS BASKETBALLS WITH ITS SPECIAL COLLAR
Could Zunar-J-5/9 Doric-4-7 (or just Jake) in fact be an extraterrestrial with telekinetic powers?
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Kill Two Birds by Simon Collinson
The modern age demanded greater efficiency, more birds killed for your buck.
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO COOKS: SOUPS THAT TASTE LIKE SANDWICHES
Do you love sandwiches but hate taking the time between bites to actually chew them?
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‘Paean of the High Plains Drifter’ by Guy Duvet
SHOULD WE NEVER SPEAK WHAT WE SAY / IN THREAT OF BRITTLE LOVE
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Last Seen On Wells Street by Michael Igoe
Reese was in again, and he was pleading with me to bail him out.
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WHOA IT IS EVEN BIGGER ON THE OTHER SCREEN, SAYS UNCLE TOBY, THIS IS AMAZING
‘Thank you for telling me about the internet.’
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REPORT: IF WE COULD JUST GET THESE PEOPLE RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES WE COULD MAKE OUR OWN GODZILLA MOVIE
People never seem to scurry and scream.
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THE 2026 WINTER OLYMPICS: HOW TO AVOID THEM
That did NOT stop the Subcomittee from submitting your name as Vice-Skip and Lead Brusher for the U.S. Olympic Curling Team.
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YOU LOVE IT WHEN HE DRIVES HIS REMOTE CONTROL MONSTER TRUCK OVER YOUR LEG AT THE BEACH: THIS IS HOW YOU MET
Not boats, planes, not Ferraris, just monster trucks.
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MULTIPLE WITNESSES ACCUSE UNCLE TOBY OF WALKING WITHOUT MOVING HIS ARMS
‘Why does he WALK like that,’ sneered Nadira.
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Raven for a Parrot by James Callan
One-eyed like a pirate with a raven for a parrot Odin himself, and the braided swine
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I HEART LAUDANUM
This Saint Valentine’s Day, why not kick back in the privacy of your own home with some tincture of laudanum.
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Burden of Beasts and 1 more by Jamie Manias
A camel sees kaleidoscopic angles from which to kill you.
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pop-up speakeasy by Dee P. R. Kay
we sat on a concrete curb next to a trash can in the P-Cola Edgar Allan Poe pop-up speakeasy
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NOTES FROM MY PUEBLO: PAPER FOR LETTERS, SNUFF & MORE
Excerpts from Cosas de mi pueblo by Ermilo Abreu Gómez, tr. Colin Gee
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The Lemondrop Dream Blog: Never sleep under a moving ceiling fan
It is very hot where I live (it’s the jungle) and every morning I wake up completely drenched in perspiration.
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THE DREAM ISLAND WITH YOUR NAME ON IT. YOUR NAME IS CHAZ, RIGHT?
The three storey, 10-bedroom Beach Chalet is run by our personal majordomo Monseiur Pepe Bucksheafle and an army of maids.
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VALENTINE’S DAY & DAVID by J.R. Solonche
like the expression my 5’7” neighbor wears when he’s trying to parallel park his behemoth of a truck.
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A MESSAGE FROM REAL NYT BESTSELLING AUTHOR SHELBY VON BOOT
On Bitterness, Clarity, and the Honesty of Holding Love Up to the Light in Lemon Luv
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Plan B by Iryna Somkina
We were barely taught. I keep what I can carry: Majoritarian, Proportional, Mixed; the U.S. from school; Latin America.
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LOCAL JOGGER LACKS A CERTAIN JE NE SAIS QUOI
No, that wasn’t it. It was a…a…a certain je ne sais quoi.
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3 ICONIC FLOATING RESTAURANTS THAT JUST FLOATED AWAY
The ‘dining pucks’ also doubled as life preservers.
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Tenor and Boots On The Ground by Salvatore Difalco
Houses in the country, seashores, mountains, a wont to desire as much as earth mass.
