Month: May 2023
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‘Some People’ by Laura Stamps
Her harness buckled over a Christmas sweater. Yorkie-size. Nice and warm.
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO REVEALS THE 3 SMOKIEST DISHES THAT EVER GOT HIM FIRED
‘I was run out of RMP in Dodge City after attempting to add a bit of smoke to Janelle Monáe’s breakfast cereal,’ confessed the beleaguered bigleague cook.
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WHAT’S RIDING UP OUR ASSES TODAY?
Oops we sat on the fruitcake again, and now it is riding up our asses.
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OOPS NEW BAR ‘NEAR BEERS’ IS JUST A PUB CLOSE TO YOUR HOUSE
You ran right over to check it out with your AA sponsor Toby.
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THE GORKO RAN YOUR EMAIL THROUGH AN AI TEXT DETECTION APP AND YEP YOU ARE A ROBOT
Your mother’s name is Dr. Donald Fispunks and he created you in a DARPA weapons laboratory sometime between Augsut 2017 and January 2018.
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FROM THE AMERICAN CHEESE SPECIAL: 4 poems by Bob King
Maybe she knows something about metaphors, survival, & opposites.
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PEOPLE HAVING TROUBLE WITH SANDWICHES NO. 8
Favorite captions will be published at the end of the summer.
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THIS CHINESE GIBBON KEPT IN A SOLITARY CAGE GOT PREGNANT AND HAD A BABY TRUST US YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED
No our reporters did NOT see Uncle Toby entering or pulling out of the monkey house where Molly is on display, he usually just goes to pet the goats.
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Classic Gorko: RECRUITMENT DEPARTMENT NATIONAL NERD NETWORK
Send your name, age, address, and hobbies to…
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‘Pete and Repete’ by Raddy
The lady said Okay then boys but by that time Repete had already said, No ma’am.
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SNEAK PEEK: YOUR GENERATIONAL YEARBOOK, 2063
You and your group of cocksure friends may still be beautiful and full of vinegar and sass in 2063, sonny, as your behavior tends to imply you think, but recent advanced computer facial aging technology my friend Bernie down New…
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‘Spotted Lanternfly’ and 3 others by Karol Nielsen
My best friend introduced me to Latin American literature. I read Gabriel Garcia Marquez and later discovered Mario Vargas Llosa, Jorge Luis Borges, Carlos Fuentes, Roberto Bolano.
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FROM THE AMERICAN CHEESE SPECIAL: ‘Good cheese is like a fine wine’ by JENX
We all have guilty pleasures, methinks. Take cheesy music, for example.
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RATZASS: UNRELEASED PRESS RELEASE BY BOB GIELOW
No female Fizer employees can imagine a health-conscious pregnant woman wanting to apply a product to their mouths that has been created using the shavings from a Rat’s butt.
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‘Baby’s After Me’ and ‘In the Movies…’ by Gene Goldfarb
Baby was always suspicious of me, sniffing and straining
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THE KINDERGARTENER REVOLUTIONIZING THE WAY WE THINK OF CRAYON ART
A local kindergartener enrolled in nearby Lake Glower Elementary, is doing with crayons something that has never been attempted.
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HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY GORKO!
To celebrate our second birthday here is a look back at a few of our favorite pieces from ’22-23…
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NO NEED FOR STICKS PRICKLES WILL HELP US WITH THE S’MORES
ENTER THE CAPTION CONTEST FOR TODAY’S IMAGE Free to enter because we want you to do our work for us! Favorite captions will be published at the end of the summer. Image created on DALL-E: portrait of a grandmother holding…
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Nolcha Fox interviews Gabriella Garofalo
NF: How does being bilingual help or hinder writing poetry in English?
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2 death poems by Ken Tomaro
one of them jagged and broken I sensed no evil or anger from him, but fear
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MITCH’S MOVIE MASH: 3 MISTAKES YOU’RE PROBABLY MAKING WHILE WATCHING ‘MAID IN MANHATTAN’
While rewatching the FABULOUS Wayne Wang (tee hee hee) 2002 blockbuster rom-com Maid in Manhattan starring J-Lo (if I may, Jennifer) and Ralph (Ralph does not pronounce the L in his name) Fiennes, between household chores and of course the…
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IF BANANAS COULD FLY WOULD TWO FACING PIECES OF THE PEEL BE THE WINGS?
If the wings were not facing pieces of their peel, how would bananas propel themselves through the air?
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LOVE DOGS OF MAXIMUS 7: A MITCHELL KENNEDY ORIGINAL
Gorko Entertainment Editor Mitchell Kennedy has been BUU-SY! This time with a series of science fiction novels called ‘Love Dogs’. Read all about the third and fourth books of the (planned) series below. BOOK 3: LOVE DOGS OF MAXIMUS 7…
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PORPOISE MISTAKEN FOR DOLPHIN MISTAKEN ON PORPOISE
‘We think he did it on porpoise,’ reported a childlike kin of the guilty party.
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GOLLUM! GOLLUM!
CREATED ON NIGHTCAFE USING THE PROMPT ‘UNCLE TOBY’ ENTER THE CAPTION CONTEST FOR TODAY’S IMAGE Free to enter because we want you to do our work for us! Favorite captions will be published at the end of each month. Image…
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HOW DO YOU SPELL DONUT?
There are many strange spellings of things in the English language, and how you spell donut (R-U-G-B-Y) may be the strangest.
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Gabriella Garofalo’s ‘Haphazardly, her blue’
The rivals going to crumble you, my light, / Too craven to fight life, or grass-
