Author: thegorkogazette
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We Is Series Gorko Club of Books: Two by Benjamin Drevlow
The Gorko reviews two rude and pissy, tender and lovin collections from the hard-bouncing editor of BULL
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO RIGOROUSLY TESTS ANOTHER RECIPE
Here is a breakdown of Rambo’s famous test.
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IN THE HOUSE OF SALT, EVERY WINDOW IS AN OPEN WOUND by J.R. Solonche
In the house of courage, there is no need for fathers. In the house of books, there is no need for doors.
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Rhubarb by Gulliver S. Gulliver
Don Rococo knew exactly who Tammy Henson was, and had had her in his sights for some time.
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CONFESSIONS OF AN UNKNOWN HINSON IMPERSONATOR by Anthony Neil Smith
Black suit, ink-black Elvis hair, fake teeth, rockabilly swagger. I didn’t have the voice down back then, but the partygoers were still impressed.
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CLASSIC GORKO: THE FACES OF YOUR FRIENDS
We are looking forward to seeing the faces of your friends.
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3 decolorized photographs that drain the present of all vitality
3 breathtaking modern photographs that have been painstakingly decolorized and drained of their vibrant reality.
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2 poems by Jason Ryberg
from a sunset that looks like the next county is on fire, through a forest of leafless trees, cracking and rattling all of its limbs
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Kitchen Inconsequential Part 1: BOUNCY CASTLES by George Vincent
The boating lake was probably the best place to work. Because it was located on the opposite side of the park to the bouncy castles, you were completely out of sight of BOSS.
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CHEEBACILLIN and JAMMY JUMPERS by Theodore Wallbanger
Ass Crack Inventions, Ltd. was the wonder fun smile factory Cheeba had magically engineered over a tumultuous nineteen years.
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A Pickleball Future by William P Adams
Soup-Soup Sarisi, the undefeated, undisputed Grand Champion Gherkin of all things Pickleball, claims the sport has ushered in a new era of peace and prosperity.
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SCIENTISTS SAY THEY ARE CLOSE TO OPENING ANOTHER CAN OF BAKED BEANS. COULD THE AGE OF DE-BEANING BE UPON US?
Stay strong — remain calm — be informed.
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Perigo, the tell-all expat Bible: a collaboration of Colin Gee and Nate Belisle
Captain B and Serio narrate in scathing Facebook prose and verse their escape from cartel war-distressed Mexico, and further adventures.
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BROTHER ETHERNAN DREAMS OF A MAN ON A DARK HORSE WIELDING A ROTATING SCYTHE IN A FUNNY HAT BEARING THE INSCRIPTION JOHN D.RE
So you’ve wet your small hard vermin-rid mattress again.
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Dangerous Knowledge and 1 more by Lynn White
apples are not the only fruit but you can’t resist them
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SHOCKING NEW DOCUMENTARY ‘SOME LIKE IT HOT’ REVEALS TONY CURTIS’ SECRET LIFE AS FEMALE SAXOPHONIST
In her second groundbreaking documentary of the new decade, Navaeh Pierce-Waters Waterson-Washington tackles another infamous Hollywood legend, this one involving Academy Award-winning actor, comedian and playboy Tony Curtis. Not that we care, but Tony Curtis always struck us as the…
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GAME OF THRONES: A PHOTO ESSAY
Fifedale Morrifer tending the lawns astride his steel charger at Stony Sept, spring 298 C.E.
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TATAKI TOTS and 1 more by Theodore Wallbanger
Stefano Madagascar relented on his original claims which cited overwhelming accolades for a gutsy three-week production run of Tataki Tots with wasabi flakes for an offshore mock food trial
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Mitch’s Movie Mash!!! Jurassic World: I Spit on Your Grave
This dino flick is nothing at all like Deliverance, or the rape-revenge classic I Spit on Your Grave.
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3 poems by Guillermo Bowie
And pulling up close to the stereo speakers In the solitude of fourteen years old Listening to a voice from San Antonio
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TRY GORKO PRO© FOR 30 DAYS FREE!! FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE MISSING WITH GORKO STANDARD
With Gorko Pro© you get access to all of the full articles, including actual punchlines.
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The Battle of the Frogs by Damon Hubbs
Buying gasoline out of Coke bottles they speak on background, hit pieces and hatchet jobs
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Art Deco’d In New Orleans (1987) and 2 more by F.D. Jackson
no running boards or door handle for my tangled tender vines to grab onto
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The Theme of the Week ith Whe Yo Acthidentally Bie Yo Owe Tongue
No Tcharlie neva bieth heeth owe tongue.
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Porn On Standby by Kevin Richard White
She looks at the camera and points at it with her fork, some spaghetti falling.
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We Is Series Gorko Club of Books: Cletus Crow’s Phallic Symbols
69 pages of verse devoted to the most infamous of human appendages, the penis.
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SOUL SLAPS and SPIDER CAUGHT A FLY by Theodore Wallbanger
Suspicion arose when convoys appeared in lieu of the traditional dump truck parades of admonishment soul slap cluster bomb bitches.
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RATIONALIZATION STUDIES by Bob Gielow
Studies have documented that MARS Degree graduates are more likely to advance in their careers, and make more money, than peers unlearned in the benefits of rationalization.
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TWENTY ATTEMPTS AT THE WILLIAMS MATTHEWS CHALLENGE TO RUIN, WITH THE LEAST POSSIBLE CHANGE, A FAMOUS LINE OF POETRY by J.R. Solonche
Two toads diverged in a yellow wood
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The cage is open by Mykyta Ryzhykh
Father built himself a house in the cemetery Somewhere here under an unmarked grave rests a son
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The Lemondrop Dream Blog: Cannibal Can Read Own Menu, Thank You Very Much
It is truly unbelievable that they think that just because I am a cannibal I am also some sort of illiterate retard.
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DRIVING THE BIG VAN and 2 more by George Vincent
Two helpings of chicken satay curry for the fatty Who used to be a chef
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Fantasy, Frantic, and The Sanctuary by Ivan de Monbrison
Frantic dismay of a bulb Broken glass bleeding its light
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What We Talk About When We Talk About Kevin McCallister by Matthew Kasper and Mike Itaya
For me and Marv, burglarizing 671 Lincoln Boulevard was gonna be our gravy train.
