Author: thegorkogazette
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO CLAIMS VEGANUARY DROVE HIM TO DRINK
Did you know that Chef Rambo also appreciates a nice leafy salad, or did before Veganuary drove him into an alcoholic freefall?
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A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME PROBABLY A TULIP OR A MARIGOLD
The best explanation is most often the simplest.
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Odds for Henley vs. Marlene in the Pick-a-Loupe© Contest
Marlene is the heavily favored shopper in this week’s contest.
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Lundy to Manhattan by Tempest Miller
The shipping forecast went – Dogger, German Bight, Dover, Viking, Biscay. Could do with finding the rifle back on quarterdeck.
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PLATE OF CAREFULLY SHUCKED EARS OF CORN APPEARS ON PEORIA STREET CORNER EVERY FOURTH THURSDAY IN JANUARY AND NO ONE KNOWS WHY
‘Whoever this person is, they are top gear shuckers.’
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Introducing the Three Stooges Program for Raising Healthy Kids by J.L. Asmundsson
Other parents may mortify their teenaged offspring by such acts as clearing a throat or speaking to someone, but little Suzy is now made of sterner stuff.
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All you want (a series of lies) by Colin Gee
All you want is a juxtaposition of passion and fury, sunlight and storm, things holy and profane.
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The Lemondrop Dream Blog: Falafel went to dog heaven
This may sound paranoid, but I think Tubbsy actually blames ME for running over her best friend.
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Fractured Genuflection by Theodore Wallbanger
Internally besieged with biatchism at 49, Kelley embraced the faint clog dancing rattle inside her skin suit.
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French Cinema and 2 more by Aaron Lembo
Daniel Rouland was a local entrepreneur and film connoisseur that founded the first cinema in the town.
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Decorum Decision and 1 more by John Zedolik
For the greater portion of the seven-day / span down at the shore, I determined to stay
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MITCHELL REVEALS THE FOUR WORDS HE LOVES TO HEAR DURING A MOVIE
The four words that will drive every man absolutely wild during a movie.
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Provincial Squirming: a book review by Hugh Blanton
Readers, critics, and editors scream for something different.
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PUA by Jesse Hilson
HER BONE STRUCTURE, HER FACIAL EXPRESSION, HOW WEIGHT WAS DISTRIBUTED AROUND HER BODY…
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REVIEW – JD CLAPP ‘A GOOD MAN GOES SOUTH’ BY JOE WEST
If you are hoping for a fast, gut-punch read to while away the hours at your slave job, A Good Man Goes South will please your palate long after each story is finished.
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IT IS LIKE A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER, BROTHER ETHERNAN
The Shaggy Goat Man shall take your part, if you need a friend, tra la la la.
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WENT TO THIS RESTAURANT THAT WAS SO FANCY THEY HAD TO HELP ME INTO A LOANER DIAPER BEFORE I COULD GO TO MY TABLE
The Drip is one of those fancy places that enforce a strict dress code.
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Poems by William Taylor Jr.
She hugged me and said I was beautiful and I hugged her and said she was beautiful.
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Classic Gorko: ‘The World Stinks’
No one should have to read, that is be subjected to an entire article from the archive bowels of the old humor print zine, brainchild of a child. And yet, had the jokes been any good, you can kind of…
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too many words by Theodore Wallbanger
‘I get confused when you use too many words,’ listed from an unblasted food quadrant of Bet’s mouth
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Dear Virgie by Nolcha Fox
We are the proud parents of the most beautiful bride-to-be in the world. She’s disappeared.
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Mitch’s Movie Mash: 10 Holiday Movies That Almost Killed My Dog
These are in fact exactly the movies to AVOID if you have the hemorrhoids.
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GORKO IS GAME FOR THE NEW YEAR
Let The Gorko help you make the final festivities of your year the most memorable.
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wondering by Theodore Wallbanger
While dandruff riddled skin suits struggle up her manicured driveway
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Then, snap. Strangle. Gush. Blackness. Silent night. by Karen Walker
I dive and, momentarily, we are side by side as we should’ve been on New Year’s Eve everlasting.
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BEST OF THE GORKO 2024
The real gift of 2024 was the creative work submitted to this space by more than 75 contributors: humor, short fiction, CNF, poems, and more.
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Cafe Launches Brussels Sprout Coffee and more holiday news by Benjamin Macnair
Chutney on the Fritz’s Hipster hang out, the etch a sketch Cafe, Sketchers has launched new Brussels sprout and parsnip flavoured coffee for the festive season.
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3 poems by Gene Goldfarb
Four men are at a table playing cards, an argument breaks out between two of them
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The Lemondrop Dream Blog: Horndog Circus
Dear Lemon, You may not remember me, but you hypnotized me in 1997, or thought you did.
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Pub Band has played Wham’s Last Christmas seven times now and more news from the front by Benjamin Macnair
Even the jazz-tinged saxophonist Tim Dewberry-Sprocket is getting sick of it.
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EVEN MORE GORKO GAMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS
The blindfolded player then has five seconds to lick the Fresh Magic Pad™ and determine the correct flavor (sweet, sour, or ‘finger’).
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School Administrators Missed Warning Signs of Lego DREAMZzz Set Snuck Onto Campus in Student’s Backpack by Liz Lydic
‘There was nothing out of the ordinary at drop-off,’ says parent Sarah, who requested we omit her last name for security reasons.
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My First Book Review: a book review by Hugh Blanton
As you can probably guess from the title, My First Book is Honor Levy’s debut collection of short stories.
