What looks like a man’s name in French is probably just what we say VOILA.
Month: January 2023
PEOPLE HAVING TROUBLE WITH SANDWICHES NO. 2
Favorite captions will be published at the end of each month.
IF YOU HAD ONLY ONE GLOVE WOULD YOU KEEP IT ON YOUR PERSON AS A GAUGE IN CASE YOU WERE CHALLENGED TO A DUEL?
If your impulse is to keep the glove on your person, you may be suffering from Acute Gauge Anxiety (AGA).
IT IS 2023. DO YOU KNOW WHERE ELVIS IS?
Is Pope Francis in fact Elvis in disguise?
3 poems by Shine Ballard
i have peat eyes.
ORANGE YOU AMAZED? AMELIA MIRANDA SETS NEW TRANSATLANTIC RECORD (GORKO CAPTION CONTEST)
BREAKING NEWS CELEBRATED FLY LADY AMELIA MIRANDA SET A NEW TRANSATLANTIC FLIGHT RECORD FOR BEING THE FIRST WOMAN TO FLY SOLO ACROSS THE ATLANTIC WHILE BALANCING A PILE OF FRUIT ON HER HEAD. ‘NOW WE’RE […]
GOING TOE TO TOE WITH STEPHEN KING? THIS MAN NOT ONLY WROTE A SCARY BOOK, HIS FACE IS HIDEOUSLY DEFORMED
‘His ghastly face paralysis puts him in excellent company in the horror community.’
OH NO BRIAN IS A MINOTAUR
Creepy, Brian.
SATISFYING: DON MARKENBALDI FINALLY TRIPS OVER THE HAMMERS WE STREWED ACROSS HIS DRIVEWAY AND FALLS HARD ONTO THE RAKED GRAVEL WALK
Yes, there is blood, but reportedly the feared Don has already made his way inside the house so the extent of his injuries are yet to be confirmed.
MICKELIA EARHART SAYS THEY WILL NOT BE ENTERING THIS YEAR’S WOMEN’S TRANSCONTINENTAL AIR DERBY (GORKO CAPTION CONTEST)
BREAKING NEWS AIR AND ROCK ‘N’ ROLL ICON MICKELIA EARHART TOLD THE GORKO EARLIER TODAY VIA LONG-DISTANCE TELEPHONE THAT THEY HAVE DECIDED, AFTER CAREFUL DELIBERATION, NOT TO ENTER THIS YEAR’S WOMEN’S TRANSCONTINENTAL AIR DERBY, IN […]
FRIGHTENING! THIS TOURIST AND HER PAPER MAP
In a frightening new development, this local tourist is actually carrying around and consulting a paper map. Horrifying! The Gorko‘s advice? Steer clear if you know what is good for you. Photo by Nick Seagrave […]
THE BRITISH MAN WHO IS SAVING ALL OF HIS USED FLOSS
Brian replied that he was just a humble citizen, doing what anyone else in his shoes would do if they could.
SURPRISING: THIS MAN TOOK YOUR BOTTLE OF GINGER ALE AND DRANK IT IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU DID NOTHING TO STOP HIM
In a surprising development, this guy you had never even seen in your life came up to you at the park, took your cold ginger ale, and guzzled it down in front of you while […]
PEOPLE HAVING TROUBLE WITH SANDWICHES NO. 1 (GORKO CAPTION CONTEST)
ENTER THE GORKO CAPTION CONTEST FOR THIS IMAGE Free to enter because we want you to do our work for us! Favorite captions will be published at the end of each month. Photo by Arnaud_Martinez […]
WHAT CONSTITUTES A JALOPY? THE GORKO ASKS 3 LOCAL TEENS TO EXPLAIN
They surprised me behind the gym and jalopied me all the way to next Tuesday.
2023 GORKO CAPTION CONTEST: ENTER TO WIN BIG KUDOS!
Favorite captions will be published at the end of each month.
FIND OUT WHAT THESE 3 CELEBRITIES SMELL LIKE
The model and host of television’s Bam Bam Bambi reportedly smells like roses, in AND out of the bathroom!
WHERE IS THE GODD#$* PICKLE FORK
We have got to find the pickle fork or this is just going to be a disaster.
ON THIS DAY IN 1897: YOU WERE BORN MAEVE O’SULLIVAN TO CONNOR AND AISLING O’SULLIVAN UNDER A PEAT ROOF IN BAWNAFINNY, IRELAND
‘Maeve Aisling is a very unusual case in that she remembers specific details from all parts of her former life.’
Interview with Adora Williams
It is funny, though, how those tough feelings on translation led me into learning English and I end up working with translation eventually. It works like some sort of closed loop.
Upcoming Movie: ‘Forrest Grump’
Hold on there, Forrest Grump, because life is about to take an unexpected twist.
3 poems by Adora Williams
The synonym for black is every black coloured picture:
Raven, obsidian, onyx, charcoal
But a thing says no-thing about a colour
This makes no sense
WAIT SOMEONE GAVE ME AN UPSIDE-DOWN CUP
The cup in question will not hold any beer or water whatsoever. It is a useless object.
COMPUTER? COMPUTER! YES, BRING ME MY WARM CHICKEN NUGGETS AND DIPPING SAUCE IMMEDIATELY, AND HEAT THE SEAT FOR HER HIGHNESS
COMPUTER! HER HIGHNESS IS WAITING FOR YOU TO WARM HER SEAT. SHE IS DREADFULLY ANXIOUS TO ASCEND HER SEAT.
NOLCHA’S POOP SCOOP: DRUGSTORE REFUSES TO REFUND RETURNS
Police later confirmed that Wilma’s husband was dead.
SUBMISSION CALL: THE GORKO AMERICAN CHEESE SPECIAL
Send us your cheesy americana, cheese-related fake news, fiction, poems, pomes, art, or anything turophilic/turophobic and weird you think might fit at The Gorko.
‘The Eternal Existence of Atticus Bright’ by Arthur DeHart
One might speculate that he was a Grecian god who came to Earth and chose to stay.
WHY DO THE SLAVES ALWAYS LOOK SO WORRIED? OPINION BY PUNKIN
Life is pretty swell, to tell you the truth. The slaves adore me frequently and bring me both wet and dry cat food when I blink at them, but it amuses me the way they […]
TOURISTS IN PEORIA ARE BEHAVING BADLY THIS YEAR. FIND OUT WHY
Stay at home. Bolt the door. If possible, if there is still time, board up the windows.
WE TESTED THESE 3 NASA SPACE BEVERAGES WITH A SPLASH OF VODKA AND BLASTOFF
‘This is the orbital drink of the future,’ slurred an extremely content Jevill while twirling and slurping, slurping and twirling.
COVER REVEAL: MITCHELL KENNEDY’S FORTHCOMING ‘LOVE DOG’ NOVELS
Gorko Entertainment Editor Mitchell Kennedy has been BUU-SY! This time with a series of science fiction novels called ‘Love Dogs’. Read all about the first two books of the (planned) series below. BOOK 1: 1,286 […]
WHY IS THE PUMPKIN SQUEEZER LYING OUT ON THE TABLE, LITTLE JOEY IS GOING TO GO AFTER THE CAT AGAIN
I have told you about this again and again, and then we had the dry walk-through as well.