Author: thegorkogazette
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WHY MORE DOWNSIZED EMPLOYEES ARE WORKING FROM HOME
Americans are embracing downsizing models — but what are the hidden costs?
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‘A Life History in Miniature’ first 3 parts by Bruce Gee
At twenty one a friend of mine said I’m not making as many mistakes as I did last year.
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‘Confessions of a Sea Cucumber’ and 1 more by Gene Goldfarb
You might think we cats dream of mice or balls of yarn and you’d be wrong, it’s not all
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THIS IS WHAT LITERARY CRITIC AND ASSHOLE DON MARKENBALDI IS WEARING TODAY
GORKO RETREAD! NO NOT REREAD, RETARD, RETREAD. BECAUSE SOME OF THE CLASSIC GORKO ARTICLES ARE OUR FAVORITES. ‘THIS IS WHAT LITERARY CRITIC AND ASSHOLE DON MARKENBALDI IS WEARING TODAY’ FIRST PUBLISHED 17 JULY 2021 17 July 2021 So the three-time…
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‘I’M JUST LUCKY I GUESS’ and 2 more by John Grey
If svelte is style’s first commandment then you obey.
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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MISTER BANANA
To celebrate Mother’s Day, Mister Banana has decided to engage in a little of what the youngsters like to call self-care.
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Film Review by Heissell Ramirez: ‘Smokey Saves Yogi’s Big Day!’
This visit is so important that the Supreme Commissioner even promises to give Ranger Smith a promotion to Chief Ranger if everything goes off without a hitch.
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HAPPY THIRD BIRTHDAY GORKO!
We had one job, and that was to double-check that May 10th is in fact the anniversary of The Gorko Gazette.
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‘Form Rejection: A Saga in Seven Acts’ by Mike McHone
Thank you for sending us your poem ‘A Poem,’ but we regret to inform you it’s not the right fit for us.
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO REVEALS THE BEST FRYING OILS FOR THAT SPECIAL DATE
As many fans of Gorko chef Rambo Bolillo’s world-famous cooking show know, as well as being master of sauce, Rambo is also a five-star lover.
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2 poems by Tauwan Patterson
The shirt accents the chest. Works overtime to pump up the biceps forever trying.
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HOW YOU THE PASSENGER CAN HELP THE DRIVER
Sometimes our lives seem completely full of these embarrassing people and it can be difficult to know how to help them in a compassionate, responsible manner.
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‘Friday Mornings’ by Lynn White
‘Don’t matter’ the boy said. ‘Don’t go anyway, except for Friday mornings.’
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The Lemondrop Dream Blog: Niece of the therapist’s niece
If you have come off your meds, that is the Lemondrop Tincture of Potassium #893, or need cash, I think you should probably sell one of your properties in York Mills.
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‘Nostalgia’ by Bhanusree S. Kumar
I Was Just Doing Fine For The First 3 Days / Yet That Was Neither An Escape Nor Solution
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what the poets are doin’: 5 poems by dirt hogg sauvage respectfully
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EXPERTS WARN THAT UNHITTABLE FASTBALLS COULD PROLONG BASEBALL INDEFINITELY
un hit ta bull fast ballzzzzz
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10 REASONS THE BABYSITTER IS NOT TO BLAME
She is scheduled to babysit your child, Little David Greener, this Saturday evening.
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3 poems by John Zedolik
For the greater portion of the seven-day / span down at the shore, I determined to stay
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WITH GRILLOUT SEASON UPON US, THESE EASY PEASY LOAVES AND FISHES HAVE MAJOR CROWD APPEAL
GORKO RETREAD! NO NOT REREAD, RETARD, RETREAD. BECAUSE SOME OF THE NEO-CLASSIC GORKO ARTICLES ARE OUR FAVORITES. ‘A SPORT YOU PLAY WITH YOUR FEET’ FIRST PUBLISHED 18 JUNE 2021 When you are rapping by the lake with your homies and…
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Mister Banana Has An Epiphany
If Bodie Bob finishes high school, Mom is going to take us on a banana boat cruise.
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‘New York City Mayor Ed Koch Will Work out the Details Later’ by Robert Fromberg
Mayor Gomez was attempting to nail to the wall the ass of New York City Mayor Ed Koch.
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Who Wrote The Declaration of Independence?
Both declarations feature ‘John Hancock’ style signatures, Togo’s by Robinson Ayhi, and Sierra Leone’s by Mufti ‘Loopy Cursive’ Jallone.
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‘Maya’ by Mehreen Ahmed
She felt that the wheel did not move much; almost too slow for the world to be defined from the top there.
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WHEN BROTHER ETHERNAN COMES UP JUST PRETEND THAT HE IS INVISIBLE
Yes, I believe I can hear the little devil that is pestering you, Brother Torthred!
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MISTER CHATBOT’S NEIGHBORHOOD: HOW MUCH WOOD COULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK
HOW MUCH MEAT MIGHT A MEAT MAN EAT IF A MEAT MAN MEET MEAT MIGHT?
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2 poems by Sreekanth Kopuri
strings nerve-knotted to the spider’s net glowing on the handy screen that can make love with us
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‘Blood Elves: For the Honour of Gladiswiel II’ review by Trixie McCarbre
It is a (thankfully) short film that follows the escapades of rugged, outcast hero – Swarth Drfenlorng, played by Alistair Ront of Twelve Days as a Sexually Frustrated Werewolf fame
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REVOLUTIONARY FITNESS PROGRAM PITS HEALTH ENTHUSIASTS IN DEATH RACE AGAINST CYBORG MANHUNTERS
The Running With Arnold Workout Program, designed by legendary fitness guru Arnold Shwartsinager, promises to keep you on your toes night and day.
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‘Girls and Cars and Songs About Loneliness, Songs About Love’ by Steve Passey
I wanted to see if someone might offer me a stupid amount of money for the truck. I might take it, I might not.
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‘IT WILL BLOW THE HEAD OFF A RHINOCEROS’: GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO ON HIS NEW .45 SEMIAUTOMATIC
Rambo replied that the rhinoceros was just an example, what he most likely would need to take down was a bag man from the Cleveland Mob.
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‘Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram’ by Karol Nielsen
It may not have been what my friend imagined but I was prolific.
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‘Trying to Sleep’ by Bo Ransom
But the beers aren’t Hitting the system yet, which Might be why this poem blows.
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Mister Banana Is Careful What He Puts In His Body
My doctor tells me my life expectancy is off the charts in banana years.
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3 MIRACLE OINTMENTS TO RUB ON THE IN-LAWS
Always follow recommended dosages. External application only.
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STUMPED ON WHAT TO NAME YOUR STUPID NEW LITERARY JOURNAL? TRY THE GORKO’S NEW NAME GENERATOR!
NOTA BENE!!!!!!!!!!! Remember, these methods are NOT infallible! Please remember that you naming a literary journal is NOT the same as naming a porn persona.
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all the items i indicated i relate with on the ‘northern nebraska various states of self-identification index’ by William M. Mcintosh
I am suspicious and fearful of individuals in various forms of head-to-toe costumes.
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‘THE TIMELY PROFITS OF EDUCATION’ by Antoine Bargel
And indeed, how was my wife supposed to procure my favorite Noirmoutier potatoes from Fauchon? With a military escort?
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‘brigid’ and 2 more by Sadie Kromm
it was time that made me realize characters and instances are not inclusively assigned.
