Category: Headlines

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 27, 20236:53 am

IF YOU STARTED A BAND WOULD YOU CALL IT RESIDUAL DOOM

If you had to choose, would you be a bullrider or a bullfighter?

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 25, 20236:31 am

LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF THESE PORTLY HIKERS SLAMMING INTO TREES

Here at The Gorko we realize that you have a busy life and sometimes simply do not have time to get out in nature the way you would like. That is why we have decided […]

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 24, 20236:37 am

WHAT WILL YOU MISS MORE AFTER THE APOCALYPSE, COFFEE OR BOLLYWOOD YEAH WE THOUGHT SO BOLLYWOOD ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY ON FRIDAY NIGHTS TOO

Please forward your answers to the Committee Chairperson.

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 22, 20237:00 am

PEOPLE HAVING TROUBLE WITH SANDWICHES NO. 4

Favorite captions will be published at the end of each month.

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 21, 20237:00 am

TITILLATING: BOGUS CAPTAIN B INTERVIEW LEAKED TO GORKO BY A MAN NAMED MITCHELL

GORKO ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR AND SUBLEASER MITCHELL KENNEDY, APPARENTLY UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT GORKO POET LAUREATE AND ALL-AROUND BADASS CAPTAIN B IS AN ACTUAL PERSON, HAS DISCREETLY LEAKED US AN ‘EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW’ WITH THAT FICTIONAL POET, […]

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 20, 20237:00 am

3 SMALL HORSES THAT ARE REALLY INTERNATIONAL ESPIONAGE AGENTS

Faroe the Pharoah later admitted to having become disillusioned with the American way of life, especially the dismal quality of hay.

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 18, 20236:52 am

1 DRESS, 10 BRIDES: 10 OF ‘LITERARY CRITIC’ DON MARKENBALDI’S DEAD WIVES HAVE WORN THIS DOOMSDAY OUTFIT TO THE ALTAR

The white lace bodice shortsleeved doomsday outfit that reportedly cost him only $389.99 in 1994.

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 17, 20236:27 am

FINALLY PROVEN: ROCK ‘N’ ROLL IS MADE OUT OF DONUTS

‘When we began really looking into what really rock ‘n’ roll music is made of, on a molecular level, it was just donuts.’

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 16, 20236:41 am

IS YOUR PLANET BULGING? 3 TIPS TO FIRM UP YOUR CIRCUMFERENCE

Have you been looking at satellite images of your planet and noticing a bit of late Holocine bulging?Check out our 3 easy remedies for firming up a bulging circumference.

Headlines by thegorkogazetteFeb 15, 20237:00 am

SO IT IS FEBRUARY WELL I’LL GO DOWN THEIR CHIMNEYS WHENEVER I DARN WELL FEEL LIKE IT

ENTER THE GORKO CAPTION CONTEST FOR THIS IMAGE Free to enter because we want you to do our work for us! Favorite captions will be published at the end of each month. Image created on […]